Eowyn's Diary
by Maegmel
Summary: Eowyn struggles to gain acceptance. But, it is where she least expects it... Faramir and Eowyn.
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Nothing is mine-or I'd be killing certain Aragorn/Eowyn shippers out there.. What's more this story is published against my better judgment. I said I wasn't going to publish any LOTR stuff until the ROTK comes out, so I lied. Sue me. I also have four stories going on right now besides this one, so I will not be updating more than once a week, it is simply impossible with my workload. Anyway, thanks, you know the drill, R&R.. ****PLEASE****  
  
Third Month 2nd day  
  
My name is Éowyn, daughter of Eomund of the House of Eorl. Well, this is new. I've never kept a journal before. Well, truth be told, I was given this years ago by my brother Eomer. But I have not felt like using it until now.  
  
You see today is special because now there is hope for Rohan once again, my uncle Théoden King has finally been saved from the witchcraft and lechery of Saruman and his slave Wormtongue. Mithrandir, or Gandalf as some call him, is responsible for this. Mithrandir has saved him, and all of Rohan, if only my brother and cousin were here to see it now. But my brother Eomer is banished by the evil Wormtongue and too far to recall now, and my cousin Theodred is dead. He "died" of a battle wound, but I know better, it is Wormtongue who poisoned him, for his wound was not fatal, it was just a good excuse to get rid of someone who might tell Théoden he was in trouble before it was the worm's time. I have hope I shall see my brother again, for great battles are coming, and my brother is a lethal warrior he will fight for Rohan's king once again.  
  
On a new light, Mithrandir brought three travelers with him, whose like I have never seen. There is a dwarf named Gimli son of Gloin, an elf Prince Legolas son of King Thrandul, and finally a human, Aragorn son of Arathorn of the Dunedain. The dwarf is a stout warrior I hear, which is good we shall need that, and he is very funny. The Elf is solemn and wise, young and old all at the same time. He too is a deadly warrior I hear, and he is handsome in his own right, but he is not really my type. Aragorn is all of these things, yet he is far older than I. Besides, the chances of anyone surviving this war are slim. I must attend my king now, for he calls. 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Did I put in the Disclaimer? None of this is mine-or ever will be so don't sue (I'm broke anyway you won't get much).  
  
Third month 3rd day  
  
We are journeying to Helm's Deep Rohan's great defensive fortress, this is because Mithrandir believes we shall be attacked, and we have already seen evidence of it towards the outskirts of our realm. Let us hope the great fortress will hold against the storm that is coming.  
  
I asked Aragorn out of curiosity who gave him the necklace her wears, for it is no masculine necklace. He replied that "she was sailing to the undying lands with all that is left of her kin." It is simple then, she is an elf, only elves go West. One does not compete with elves whether they are leaving or no.  
  
Later..  
  
We were attacked, and even though I contested I could fight as good as any man Théoden made me take the rest of the people to Helm's Deep. My uncle knows I can fight; I had the same training as my brother who is now an expert swordsman. Why is it that because I'm a woman nobody believes I can fight????  
  
When the men returned, their numbers were much smaller than when they left, and the Lord Aragorn seems to be among the "fallen" as Gimli put it. We have lost a great warrior and a superb man today; perhaps he could have been my last chance at being understood by others of his gender, my last chance at freedom. I swear on my father's grave and by all that Rohan holds sacred that somehow I shall prove myself before this war ends, and then SOMEONE WILL UNDERSTAND ME.  
  
Even Later...  
  
Miracles are endless! The Lord Aragorn has returned!!! This is good news indeed for now it means our hope for keeping Helm's Deep is brighter. The Elf Legolas gave him something when he returned, I think it was the elf- lady's necklace. I wonder, I am I right in thinking Aragorn is only a way to gain freedom? Do I wish him to be more? Even so, there is no way I can compete with an elf maiden. What I really want most is to be understood. And so far, nobody does.  
  
Later Still......  
  
I CANNOT believe my fate!!! Where is the Valar? How did I ever think that that accursed Aragorn was my salvation? For yes, he may be a good warrior, but it is under his suggestion that I am banished to the caves-with the old people and children! I wish to fight for Rohan's honor and freedom on the walls of this great fortress, not in the caves behind it. That is-if I get to fight at all. I may be a woman, but I can fight. Does nobody understand this? How much more unfair can this world get? My brother is banished, my parents are dead, my cousin is dead, my uncle does not understand me (kind though he may be), and my one chance of salvation has become my jailor!  
  
I told Aragorn in Edoras that what I feared above all things was a cage. He knew this-AND HE STILL LOCKS ME IN!!!!!!!!! I hate him.  
  
A/N: Sorry for those of you crazi peoplz who are Aragorn/Eowyn shippers-you will find NO sympathy here...  
  
Major Faramir fan! Even bigger Faramir/Eowyn shipper!!!  
  
Reactions:  
  
Lt. Col. Eowyn: Review again!!! When will you update your "First Campaign"? Peoplz out there are dying to read more! Oh, by the way, did you ever explain your name to your fans??? All JAG & LotR fans will love it!  
  
Harry: 10 days!!!!! I shall die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::chokes, "Cruel P.J.!," finally collapses dead on ground:: Thanks for reviewing! (I heard evil rumor they are cutting out Houses of Healing scene! How dare they! ::Gets out knife, and starts to sharpen it. Picks up phone, "Yes, I would like a ticket on the next available flight to New Zealand. Hangs up phone. Grins evilly..::  
  
A/N: Alright, I'm really sorry guys. I was sick on Mon., and I burned my hand pretty bad (on hot tea). It's my right one too. It's pretty hard to type with my left only. I was gonna have my sis do this, but she got sick too. After awhile my hand gets tired, so I can't type chapters up. This means I will still review (less typing), but no chaps for now.Will be back ASAP, promise I'll make it up to you guys. Thankx for understanding.  
  
~Pennithil 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. But my hands have finally healed (for the most part). So, hence this monster chapter as a reward for my patient reviewers.  
  
Third month,4th day  
  
I am exhausted, sufficient to say that I did have a chance to fight despite Aragorn's restrictions. It was a victory-but only just. My brother and Gandalf saved the day. Without them we would all have surely died. So now, we rest before moving on to muster Rohan's riders again for the battle that is surely coming to Minas Tirith. I for one will take part in that battle no matter what anyone says. As usual, nobody seems to realize I killed a good many orcs and nearly single-handedly held off the advance of orcs. I told Aragorn, hoping he would redeem himself, you know what he said? "Oh, very nice milady. Now, Eomer what were you saying about your horse?" Eomer, looked at me as if in pity. He understands somewhat where I am coming from, but he does not wish me to fight either. Why must I be cursed in the company of those who at best cannot understand me, and at worst look down on me for being a woman who wishes to do the work of a man? We leave the Hornburg this afternoon.  
  
Third month, 5th day  
  
Riding to Edoras. All is more depressing than yesterday. Nothing to write.  
  
Later.......  
  
Returned to Edoras tonight. Only to find that the muster was already begun by Gandalf as he passed through to get Eomer. My uncle and brother just received a visitor from Gondor bearing an urgent message, perhaps they will call me in, perhaps they shall not.  
  
Even later......  
  
They did eventually call me in towards the end, the messenger bore the red arrow. Such a token has been feared in the Mark for time uncountable. For this means Gondor is in severe trouble, and needs the most aide we can give them. Never in my days-or anyone's in Rohan for that matter has such a time existed. The arrow has not come to the Mark in years uncounted. Nevertheless, we shall answer with all the strength we can spare from our borders. We shall come to Gondor's aide and stand beside them in what looks to be the last battle for our freedom on Middle Earth..  
  
Third month 11th day  
  
We leave this afternoon when the last of the muster is completed. A darkness has overcome the world-no doubt a foul scheme of the Evil Lord's to dampen our spirits. It is not working. For we Rohirrim are strong, noble and brave. We shall stand even under the wings of the witch king and his steed. Nothing shall stop us for destiny has determined we shall fight on the fields of Pellennor and make our last defense in the streets of Minas Tirith, to hew away at the Dark Lord while we yet stand or even kneel. We shall fight while there remains Rohirric blood in our veins. For this is our destiny, our fate....  
  
Later.......  
  
I have been forbidden to fight. AGAIN. My brother came just before the muster to try to console me.  
  
"Éowyn, everyone appreciates your bravery and willingness to help. Yet as our Uncle has said someone must stay to guide Rohan while he and I are away."  
  
"Yes. For I shall always be left behind brother. Nobody cares how the Princess of the Mark dies, as long as they themselves die nobly on the fields of Pelennor. Do you not understand brother I wish to die as nobly as you? That I wish to die in those fields with you? You are the closest flesh and blood of mine surviving. I do not wish to survive while you do not. I only ask to die when you do, how you do, and where you do. Is that too much to ask?"  
  
"My sister I do not wish to lose you. For if you were to die on those fields, and perchance I did not think how bitterly I should blame myself for letting you come. At least if you remain, there is still a chance I might survive to see you again."  
  
"And if you do not?"  
  
"Someone must rule this nation, and you would be the nearest blood link. You would rule if we win, and I perish"  
  
"But I do not wish to live if my only remaining family is dead. My uncle is my uncle yes, but he is not my brother."  
  
"Yet live you must if not for yourself, for Rohan whom you hold so dear. Éowyn please do as the King asks."  
  
"He asked Eomer, and did not command, yet I shall decide my course of action on what seems best for me and this nation. If that is any comfort to you my brother."  
  
"Very little sister, for I know you well, and once you set your mind you do not change it. I shall leave now, for I must."  
  
"Goodbye my brother and may the Valar be with you, may the blessings and strengths of our forefathers and our house be with you."  
  
"And with you my sister. I hope that we shall see each other again."  
  
"We shall Eomer, whether here or in another happier place."  
  
He and I tearfully embraced and I bade him farewell. Once he left I immediately left my tent and gathered the armor I had prepared for myself. I flung it on and hurried to get my horse. As I was about to ride to a company I had chosen, I saw that the young Halfling who accompanied us was desolate as he was also being left behind. I bade him get his armor and ride with me. "For such good will should not be denied." I told him to call me "Dernhelm," as he did not seem to know my real name. Now we have stopped for the night. Merry (the Halfling) and I have camped slightly apart from the rest so as not to be discovered. For I will not be sent home like a child. Or as Merry so fittingly put it, "baggage to be picked up only when wanted." He and I understand each other though he knows it not.  
  
Third month, 12th day  
  
We camp at Minrimmon. Nothing much interesting. One can rarely catch glimpses of my brother or uncle, I suppose that is well, considering they should quickly recognize me. We have about four to five days until we reach Minas Tirith. I hear rumors from the amongst the men that the errand-rider of Gondor that Minas Tirith may fall before we even get there. For some bizarre reason I feel the urge to get there as quickly as possible. I get the feeling that for once I am needed. Somehow, I know, Minas Tirith is already under attack. Do not ask how. I just know. We must hurry.  
  
Third month, 13th day  
  
We are making progress, and have reached the Druadan Forest, where the Wild- men live. But, I am not worried about them, but about the city. Some evil is threatening to swallow it, and I feel we shall be too late to stop it. I know not what is come over me, I see Minas Tirith besieged in my dreams, even though I have never been there. The first circle of seven is about to fall and fire is burning unchecked throughout it. Can we ride no faster?  
  
Third month, 14th day  
  
We are a day's journey from the White City, and have just reached the Grey- Wood. Unbelievably, the Wild-men helped us find a hidden path to come to the White City's succor. Even now one can already hear the sounds of battle raging round it. You can see the smoke rising, and the shrill cries of the Nazgul. I have a sickening feeling we shall not be there in time.  
  
Third month, 15th day  
  
We have just arrived, no time to write. This place is a mess, everything is burning. So majestic a city too, it is sad. Yet we shall fight to the last to defend her and the free peoples of Middle Earth. We are lucky we got here at all, the wild men guided us here, now we can hopefully break the siege, if only for a brief moment. I shall be understood bys someone years from now, even if I must die to make my point. ROHIRRIM FOR THE GREEN BANNER AND THE WHITE CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!! CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !  
  
Third month, 16th day  
  
I am told I am lucky to be alive at all. Though, with my raging headache, melancholic depression, broken arm, and a nearly useless sword-arm I certainly don't feel it. Yes, I got the fight I wanted. Yet my heart is deeply grieved. I must tell you the whole story, so I shall.  
  
Before Théoden King could give us any real orders, his horse, Snowmane somehow was spooked at charged forward like a wild thing. His house guards tried desperately to keep up with him, and my brother was forced to lead our people, yet soon we were noticed and the battle became so very confusing at that point. I had but one thought, to save my King from whatever danger her might encounter. I slew a few orcs in search of him, and finally I found him. His horse was wounded and had obviously thrown him. To my absolute horror I found that one of those foul Nazgul was about to devour him. I charged to his rescue, as he himself seemed to be wounded. Yet, my horse also grew spooked, and I had to dismount quickly. I do not know what became of Merry who had been riding with me, until later. I challenged the fearful witch king, and he laughed at me telling me no man could slay him. I contested I was a woman, and that he stood between me and my lord and kin, and threatened to slay him again. Then, I remember little, except that he smashed my shield to bits, and that Merry stabbed him in the behind the knee, giving me the opening to give him a blow where his head should have been. He gave a shrill cry, and died. Then everything went black, I remember no more. I do not know how much time passed before I heard my name called from a deep wood. I was resting after my exhausting battle, at first it seemed to be Lord Aragorn who was calling me, but when I awoke in some sort of healing place, it was my dear brother who called, and sat beside me holding my hand. I was so glad to see his familiar face, yet also sad for I had sought recognition through death in battle, and it seems I have gained neither...  
  
Third month, 17th day  
  
My brother was trying his best not to overexcite me, yet he could hardly keep from scolding me. Saying:  
  
"If only you knew what despair pierced my heart when I saw you lying there as if you were dead. Did I not tell you Éowyn not to ride to battle?" Yes, that is the way my brother Eomer speaks jumping from one topic to the next with hardly a wait for a breath. I asked him for the outcome of the battle, which he was reluctant at first to give me, but I pressed him. His news was good, yet most grievous; we have paid dearly for our narrow victory. My Uncle Théoden King son of Thengel fell in battle; Rohan has lost its king. Before he died my uncle said to say goodbye to me and to have hope in a brighter future. His last words have made my brother King. My brother King of Rohan. My brother whom I chased down the halls of Meduseld, my brother with whom I had snowball and mud ball fights. My brother is King.  
  
Shock seems to be my constant companion these days, I have just gotten word that my brother, Mithrandir, Lord Aragorn, and our other leaders are riding to the Black Gate of Mordor as I write. Why they do this I do not know, it is suicide. I am determined to go with them...  
  
Third month, 18th day  
  
I arose early this morning, and demanded clothing of the attending women, and got out of bed. Needless to say it was very painful, and the ladies were going into conniption fits about how I was not supposed to be out of bed for at least a week. I ignored them; I don't suppose they really knew what they were talking about anyway. They're only serving women. I demanded to speak to the healer. I was allowed to, but only after a great deal of trouble. It seems these mindless Gondorian women do not like what I did on the fields of Pellannor. Rather, they fear me, and do not believe I am a woman just like them.  
  
Anyway, enough on them, they are a boring topic anywise. I asked the healer who was in charge of the city at present. I was told the Lord Faramir was. I had heard little of this man as he was only the second son of the Lord Denethor who died during the siege. All I know is from his brother who visited our country not so long ago wanting to borrow a horse. Boromir (the elder son of Denethor), spoke little to me. But what I heard of his brother was nothing but good. Although Boromir could not understand his brother's all-consuming love for learning and books. He once said, "..if my brother spent the same amount of time studying with his sword as he did with his books he should be a better warrior than I.." So this learned man, also a warrior of great renown I hear amongst his own people, was the man I was going to see to beg to go to the Black Gate and fight.  
  
He had his back to me when I arrived, he was strolling in the gardens, and something weighed heavily on him. I heard he too was severely wounded in defense of his city, and was near death before they could get him medical attention. Anyway, he immediately tensed the moment my foot stepped into the garden. (I am a warrior too, I know such things.) HE HADN'T EVEN TURNED AROUND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD AND HE ALREADY KNEW I WAS THERE! It is rumored that some of Numenor have Elvish blood in them, it is obvious that this Faramir is one.  
  
The warden announced me and withdrew after Faramir dismissed him. By this point he had turned around. I was greeted by a man who was much like his brother and mine, yet much like the Lord Aragorn, and even Mithrandir. Old, yet young much like the elves. His eyes seemed to read my purpose before I even opened my mouth. My carefully practiced speech flew from my mind as I tried to battle his intense gaze. I eventually gave up, he was too strong, and I mumbled something about wanting to go to the Black Gate. To which he wisely replied that he was also still healing, and under the warden's care. Not to mention, he said, that the riders were too far off to join even if I had the strength. I mentally chastised myself for asking such a stupid question. Of course anyone knew that. Why didn't I? Here he was, a Gondorian, who most likely knows far less about horses than I who have lived with them since I was born, and he knows the obvious answer to a question I should, but do not. I must have seemed like a fool. I tried desperately to redeem myself, but could only come up with another stupid question, or should I say, request.  
  
"But my window does not even face east." I mope.  
  
He laughs to my utter embarrassment, and says he shall fix that. Then he walked over to me, "Why do you fear me lady?" he asked.  
  
He question caught me completely off guard; it was as if he had just read my mind  
  
"I fear none my lord." I lie.  
  
His face saddens. "You wish to fear none, yet you fear me. You have passed under the wings of shadow like myself, and have slain the King of Wraiths, yet you fear me. Tell me lady, is this not a paradox? For I should hope to think I am not as intimidating as the witch-king."  
  
"My lord, I fear you because you seem to know my mind and none before you have tried to understand me. I am considered worthless and useless by all, yet you attempt to understand me as no one else has ever done."  
  
"There my lady you are wrong. You are highly esteemed in both of our nations. The few who have tried to understand you have given up, or not bothered because you are so different from everyone. Being different is not always a bad thing. It may hurt, but I can tell you from experience, it is usually worth it. Nobody has understood why a woman would have the driving need to fight like you, and in truth I know little of you. Not as much as you think. Although I do know that you and I have much in common. I would learn more of you, and of your story that weighs so heavily upon you, and then perhaps I can then understand your desperate need to fight."  
  
"Why would your lordship bother to learn of me and my dealings?"  
  
"Because my lady, I have met none like you in all my traveling, and I hear you are restless in your chambers. Perhaps you shall not find me as tiresome as they."  
  
"So I may walk abroad in the houses, and not be retained to my rooms?" I ask almost ecstatically.  
  
"You may do as you wish in these houses as long as it is not rash or ill- counseled."  
  
"Then I shall walk by the grace of the Steward of the City." I said curtseying as best I could, but the ground was uneven, and my legs still weak, and I slipped. Quick as a flash his arm shot out to steady me, and I noticed (brief though it be) that he winced in pain as he helped me up. I instantly felt guilty, and began to apologize profusely. He ended up telling me to be quiet, and saying that we were equals there was no need for curtseying in his presence. I was so embarrassed by this point I mumbled out my thanks and ran off before he could see the red rash that suddenly seemed to spread across my skin. I have never been so confused in my life.  
  
In the space of five minutes this man scares me, reads my mind, surprises me and makes me absolutely lose my wits. This has never happened before. What in the world is wrong with me? This must have something to do with the after-effects of their Gondorian medicine or the Nazgul. I've heard some rumors about it even before I came here, why can't I have a Rohirric man of herb-lore tend me? At least I know their medication is safe....  
  
Later....  
  
My room was changed shortly after I finished speaking with the steward. I also have a window facing the gardens, not just east. I could see him walking about with Merry this evening; they were talking about what I shall not guess. I did not go out, I was still too embarrassed. He must think me a mere child. By the Valar! My face flushes in my chamber just remembering it! Perhaps they are talking of me out there. I looked out just now and Lord Faramir caught my gaze as if he were expecting it. What must he think of me? Hiding in here like a scared rabbit? I'm drawing the curtains..... 


	4. Chapter 4

Third month, 19th day  
  
I awoke early this morning. I wished to see the sun rise, I always do this (when I can), and it was an encouragement in dark days that at least something was right with this maddening world. For this I became known as the "Daughter of the Sun." Of course I have many other names and nicknames, but that is beside the point for now.  
  
I knelt down, beneath it's warming rays, (for Minas Tirith is oft cold despite how far south it is.), and prayed to the Valar for guidance. For surely I shall need it. My hopes and dreams have been smashed by many a person. I must now find a way to live on.  
  
I was surprised by a voice, the Steward's to be specific. "Lady, wilt thou not come down from there? You shall catch your death of cold."  
  
I complied, but my confidence had returned over-night, and I was somewhat annoyed he should think me so fragile. So, I retorted, "My lord, you seem to forget I was raised in the far north, in Rohan where it is frequently cold, and that I have slain the King of Wraiths. I am no fragile doll to be turned to some man's purposes."  
  
He laughed softly, "Nay lady that you certainly are not. Although I must say you are far different from most if not all women I have ever known, For most go out of their way to convince they are fragile dolls."  
  
"Then they are cowards, and leeches."  
  
"Is that not rather strong language?"  
  
"That is nothing compared to what I use sometimes. You should have spoken to my brother ere he departed, and he should have told you that I use far worse language when provoked."  
  
"I think I shall trust your testimony for the moment until your brother returns."  
  
"Return?!" I begin bitterly, "My lord, you must not know whither they have gone, or perhaps you do not comprehend the enormous odds they shall face. Nay, they shall not return."  
  
"There you are wrong my lady, for you forget now, it is I who ventured as close to the black land as far as any living man would dare. There is a chance, however small, that Mithrandir's mysterious plans will work, and they shall return once more to the White City, and see her flag fly yet again."  
  
"What do you know of Mithrandir's plans?" I ask, intrigued.  
  
"Little, do you know anyone who can read the mind of a wizard?"  
  
"Nay, but what do you know?"  
  
"I am sorry lady, I am not at liberty to say, except that they are very risky, and that it is a gamble even my father Denethor was unwilling to take." Perhaps it was just my imagination, but did he say his father's name with dread?  
  
"What became of your father?" I ask softly.  
  
"You speak of my father as if he were dead lady, tell me, what is it you know that I do not?" he gaze became frightfully strong at that point, yet I was not as afraid as the last time. I immediately regretted telling him by accident that his father was dead, he must not know yet.  
  
"How much have they told you?" I asked in surprise.  
  
"Nothing, save that I was wounded and my uncle brought me back, stricken from the field, and that it was some time before Lord Aragorn could heal me."  
  
"Would your father not have visited you though, if you were wounded? Surely you would expect him to visit his heir were he alive?"  
  
"There is much you know not of the House of Stewards and the line of Anaorien, lady, and do not wish to know. Let us simply say that my father was very harsh on me."  
  
"Do not call me lady, my lord, for it is a title, and I deplore titles." I know not why I told him that, or what came over me, but I suddenly felt unworthy of his company. Again, I suppose aftereffects of Wormtongue and/or the Nazgul.  
  
"Then what may I call you?"  
  
"Simply Éowyn. For I am undeserving of such a lofty title."  
  
"That is nonsense. For you are the King of Rohan's sister, and that is equal to, if not above my station."  
  
"Still, I do not wish it."  
  
"Very well, then you shall call me Faramir. However shall I explain this to your brother though? He is very protective of you."  
  
"You have spoken to him?" I ask excitedly.  
  
"Aye. For a short time, Mithrandir would allow him no more. He simply told me he was going to war, and there was none here he trusted to watch over you, and he asked me to."  
  
"You know my brother?" I say in utter confusion. Why hadn't Eomer spoken of him before then?  
  
"A little. There were times where he and I met at our borders. Once he even came to Gondor on the request of my father, (with your late cousin of course), and we taught him some sword-fighting tricks. In turn, your brother and cousin showed us some horse-riding tips. That was many years ago now, when I was twelve and he ten, your cousin was fourteen, maybe thirteen. My brother was about you cousin's age. You would have been around five winters, am I correct?"  
  
"Yes. Now that you mention it, I remember vaguely a time when my brother and cousin went away. It was when they returned that they were so shocked at the change in my uncle."  
  
"Change?"  
  
"Yes. Did you not hear of my king's bewitchment?"  
  
"Nay, for if my father heard of such things, he would certainly never tell me." There he was speaking in riddles again, as does Mithrandir, perhaps he learned it from him.  
  
"It is sufficient to say that had not Mithrandir come to save the king we would not have come to your aide. It is a dark and fearsome tale, the bewitchment of my king, and you should not wish to hear it. Unless perchance you delight in such tales?"  
  
"Nay, we have enough dark tales in Gondor. I do not wish to hear of yours at this time. Let us, rather, dwell on lighter things."  
  
"What does my lord wish to speak of?"  
  
"Remember I asked you not to call me that?"  
  
"I am sorry. It seems rather strange to call a man I do not know that well on a first-name basis though."  
  
"Then perhaps I should tell you more of myself, so you shall not be so uneasy? What would you have me say?"  
  
"I do not know, for it is your tale to tell. Perhaps-though, whenever you mention your family, you never mention your mother. Why is that?"  
  
"Lady Éowyn, if what you say of my father is true. The only family I have remaining is my uncle, Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth. My mother was his sister. She was more attractive than many elf maidens, and none at the time could rival her beauty. Yet, she was frail. She missed the sea from whence she came. Findulias withered in Minas Tirith under the growing shadow of Mordor. She passed on to the West when I was but five, and my brother eight. Her passing was hard on all of us. Mainly my father. All that is left of her to me is the memory of her standing on the wall facing Dol Amroth, while the wind tangled her in black hair, and her blue and silver cape flapping in the breeze.."  
  
He broke off there, and he looked away. I reached out to lay a hand on his shoulder, for I too had known much loss in my life, and could sympathize. "I am sorry about your mother, she must have been a fine woman." I reply softly.  
  
He began to sing quietly in Elvish, and though I knew not the words, I understood what they meant. It had something to do with his mother and how he missed her. My heart went out to him at that moment, though this man had suffered much hurt and doubt he continued on in hope of better times. But then the wind whipped up fiercely as it is wont to do across plains, and it became cold, so I sought the shelter of the tree.  
  
Then we went in for the noon meal. Faramir demanded to know what became of his father while we were at dinner, but he was given evasive answers. This did not please him, but there was little he could do at the moment.  
  
Here I am writing about another man's troubles in my journal, aren't journals for your own problems? Not others'? So why do I write pages about his, yet so little about mine?  
  
A/N: I know, I changed some things of Tolkien's. Faramir is by rights twelve years older than Eowyn, but I changed that to seven. 


	5. Chapter 5

Third month, 20th day  
  
I had the most horrible dream last night, and woke up in cold sweat, I do not remember much of what it was about, except that my brother was dying, and the only one who could save him was Faramir. It is bizarre that I should dream of a man I have known for so little time. Especially because the only other man I've ever dreamt of is my brother. I was frightened at the time, and could not sleep. So, I drew my blanket about me, for it was fearfully cold, and ventured out into the hall. It was a long foreboding corridor, yet mostly forsaken, as many who were here had left. I did pass Merry, and he was sleeping contently, as I was nearing the other end of the hall I saw a small pool of light emanating from one of the rooms. Out of curiosity I looked in, and was surprised to see Lord Faramir sitting with his back facing me. The strange thing was he was sitting as far away as possible from the fire, and considering how cold this was I found it surprising.  
  
I stepped in, intending to chastise him for not sleeping. Instead, he got up from his seat, he was startled to see me, but he could not hide from me he had been very upset over something.  
  
"Éowyn, what are you doing out of your bed at this hour?" he queried.  
  
"I could ask you the same. I might also ask you why you sit so far from the fire on a cold night." I retort.  
  
"I cannot sleep, that is why I am up. As to the fire, I simply cannot sit near it. I do not know why."  
  
I laughed softly, "Why ever not? It won't bite." I say stretching out my icy hand towards it.  
  
He snatches it back, I look at him in utter astonishment. "There is something about it I cannot place." He said quietly, perhaps it is only the bad dreams I have, but ever since I was wounded I have terrible dreams concerning fire. In the end, I always end up burning because I cannot get out and-" he faltered, and stopped.  
  
"I am sure you are having enough of your own nightmares, you certainly don't need mine to add to them."  
  
"It is strange you should mention that, for I just woke from one. Though I can barely remember what it is about.  
  
"Perhaps it would help you, Faramir, to speak of it. Sometimes it helps to know that someone else knows as well."  
  
"If I am going to tell you this, then you must promise to tell no one, especially the healers, and you must sit down. For I shall not have you standing al night."  
  
"Alright." I complied, and he too sat, but I noticed neither chair was positioned anywhere near the fire. He began.  
  
"In my dream, I see the Southron men surrounding my rangers and I in our desperate charge back to Minas Tirith. I approach their leader, to strike him down, and then everything goes black. The next thing I know is I can hear my father's voice crying for his servants to bring oil, wood and fire. He tells them to lay both of us down on the wood, and pour oil on us, and then he tells them to light us. The last thing he says is always something like, 'The West has failed, it is time for the last of the House of Stewards, and the line on Anaorien to die together. For Sauron may have dominion over all Middle Earth, but he shall not have control over my death, or my son's.' Then, the flames consume us, and that is where I always wake up."  
  
"Why would your father burn himself and you?"  
  
"He despaired of me. I was never the son he wanted, that was my elder brother Boromir. Never once in my entire life did he tell me I ever did something even part way right." He sighed. "Yet, my brother was always, 'Gondor's finest' or, 'my beloved son.' But never Faramir. I do not begrudge my brother this, for he was a worthy man. Do you not know though, that my name when translated to the common tongue means 'half-jewel' yet my brother's means 'precious jewel.' It is as if he hated me from birth.  
  
"Then, when the days grew darker, and Mordor's strength grew, he became even more depressed. Finally when my brother died he lost it. He did not sound like he was mad, but I who knew him well, knew that he was. He had brief bouts of sanity, but they became fewer and fewer. He finally sent me on a suicide mission, and angry were his words at our parting. That is the last time I ever saw him."  
  
"Your father was unjustified in what he did. For you are as great a warrior as your brother, if not better. At least that is what I hear from the city."  
  
He laughed, almost bitterly. "I never asked for the approval of men. Simply my father's. Is it not strange how they always said I was, yet my father never did? Usually it is harder to win the opinion of the masses."  
  
"Your father's approval cannot matter, and should not, if he could only give it to your brother, that is favoritism, and it is wrong."  
  
"My father did not care. Enough of that, what was your dream about?"  
  
"My dream was different than yours. I remember little, except that my brother was in grave danger, and I could not help him. There was only one who could."  
  
"And that person was?"  
  
"Someone I know very little of, and thus I am surprised it was he."  
  
"Well, I do not pretend to know your acquaintances, so whom would that be?"  
  
"Someone you know."  
  
"Someone I know? Pray, Éowyn why do you refuse to give me a definitive answer? Someone I know? I know many people."  
  
"Perhaps you should guess."  
  
"I should take all night if I were to do that Éowyn."  
  
"Then start."  
  
"My uncle?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Lord Aragorn?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Mithrandir."  
  
"No."  
  
"Merry."  
  
"No."  
  
"I give up."  
  
"You."  
  
"Me? Why me?"  
  
"That is what I have been trying to discover."  
  
"Well, such things will be for tomorrow. You and I should be sleeping, not talking. Go back to sleep Éowyn."  
  
"Why? It is but two hours until sunrise, and even if I succeed, I shall have nightmares again."  
  
"Because, if you do not, I shall not be able to show you the stars tomorrow- night."  
  
"I can see them now."  
  
"Yes, but you cannot enjoy them properly. I shall even show you the constellations that our people see in them. But it is too late now, and you must sleep, as must I."  
  
"I suppose so. Goodnight Faramir."  
  
"Is it not good morning now?"  
  
"Good morning then."  
  
"Same to you."  
  
I walked out reluctantly, feeling as if there was something else I should say to him, but I had no idea what it was, nor how I should go about saying it. I really must sleep now though, or the healers will know I have been up.  
  
Later....  
  
I had another horrible dream, and I woke up screaming and thrashing about. The Nazgul was attacking my uncle, and I could not get to him, because there was a fiery creature that looked like Wormtongue threatening to burn me at any instant. I could feel the hot flames licking about me as I tried ferociously to fend them off, but to no avail. I could here the Nazgul shrieking in for the kill on my uncle and there was none to help us..  
  
When I awoke and finished thrashing I saw Faramir holding down my shoulders, while the healing-women were too scared to move at the opposite end of the room. He was telling me it was just a dream and I was safe now, and to calm down.  
  
"How long have I been like this?" I asked absolutely mortified. Seeing that I was alright, he dismissed the girls.  
  
"When you did not come out this morning to visit with the Halfling and I we suspected you were ill. He stayed outside lest you should come, but I went in to see where you were. The ladies here had come to change your cast, but were terrified to see you like this. Since I came you have been screaming for about a minute."  
  
I sighed. "I wish you had not seen that."  
  
"If you are implying that this scene has lessened my opinion of you then you are sadly mistaken Éowyn. Everyone has nightmares, whether they admit it or not. Even your brother and the great Lord Aragorn, though I wager it should take them much to admit it. I also have bad dreams as you know, and premonitions as well. It is part of life. You have not told me of your dream yet, what was it about."  
  
I told him, except the fiery Wormtongue part.  
  
"Why could you not reach your uncle?"  
  
Of course, he would ask that question. "There was a fiery creature stopping me."  
  
"What did it look like?"  
  
Silence. I had not told him how Wormtongue in his filthy thoughts had desired me, nor was I even sure I wished too. The only man who knew of that was my brother, and that was enough.  
  
He jokingly commented, "I hope it was not like me."  
  
I was shocked, how could he think such a thing? "Nay, certainly not! Why should I think of you like that? The only experiences I have with you are good ones, not-not like..that." I finish.  
  
"Do you not wish to tell me?"  
  
I sighed again. "If I were to tell, you will speak of this to no one?"  
  
"Unless it is against the law."  
  
"For my part, no it was not, but his... If my brother had any say in the matter."  
  
He became very serious, "Tell me who did this to you."  
  
"Wormtongue."  
  
"I KNEW IT! I KNEW THAT GOOD-FOR-NOTHING__" he stopped short and sheepishly apologized. "I am sorry, being with my rangers all the time I fear has destroyed my speech. Please continue."  
  
"Do not apologize Faramir, I hear worse where I come from-and I use it myself from time to time. How did you know it was Wormtongue though?"  
  
"My brother did write when he was journeying to Imaladris. Erratic though it was. He described some of what was going on at court in your land, and he did not like what he saw. Of course he would not tell my father, only me. For though my brother loved our father, I think he knew some things cannot be trusted to him. But pray continue."  
  
"Wormtongue was not only at Edoras on Saruman's business, but also his own. His reward for his good service to Saruman was going to be me. He was stalking me from the time I was eight. It was horrifying to walk into my room before bed and find him there. I could not even change until I was sure he was not there. My brother did his best to protect me, he and Theodred even moved their rooms to be on either side of mine. His visits became fewer, but he still came, and then Theodred died, and my brother was banished.It was terrifying to think what he might have done to me, what he might still do to me." I finish and turn to face the wall, ashamed of my inability to get rid of Grima.  
  
"Did he..?" Asked Faramir softly.  
  
I answered his unspoken question, "No, but he very nearly did once. My brother came in just in time, we had intended to go riding and he wanted to know where I was. After that Wormtongue had two black eyes and a broken nose. He was lucky he didn't get more with the way my brother was carrying on."  
  
Faramir was silent for a little, "He shall die if I find him." His voice was frozen with cold, hard all-consuming anger and hatred. It was worse than hearing an angry shout, because those who say such things often do not mean them. This threat was meant, and it scared me that this man was capable of such a deep hatred. I had not expected it of him.  
  
"Why are you so concerned in my affairs that you threaten to kill my stalker?"  
  
He looked at me a log time before answering, "Because Éowyn, you are the first true friend I have ever known. I will not tolerate such actions towards someone I care about."  
  
"Surely you have had other friends?"  
  
"Not like you. My brother and I were friends as much as is possible between brothers, but with Denethor as a father that is almost impossible. Mithrandir was a teacher and a mentor, besides time limited our meetings together. Pippin admires me, but there is not much to admire in me, besides he talks so much about himself one cannot get a word in edgewise. Merry is virtually the same, though to a more serious degree. This not bad, as they need someone to talk to, but it does not allow me to speak. Other than that nobody else comes close. Mostly because I do not know them.  
  
"With you though, there is no limit to our friendship be it fathers, time or admiration. I consider you my equal, not my inferior as many men might even now think. With all of those I mentioned before they either considered themselves above or below me, and therefore we cannot have a strong friendship. At least not until they realize that. If I am not mistaken though, you perceive me as an equal?"  
  
"Well, if you put it that way, yes." There was a long silence as we stared at each other, it was interrupted by pounding footsteps and hampered breathing.  
  
"When are you two going to stop talking and come at breakfast? I'm famished!" said Merry.  
  
Faramir laughed, "You remind me very much of Sam, you silly little hobbit." He said rubbing Merry's head fondly. "We shall come now, unless there is something else Lady Éowyn needed?"  
  
I swung my legs over to get out of the bed, and suddenly everything went black..  
  
I woke up to find that Merry, using his hobbit-sense had just poured ice- cold water all over my face. Faramir was chastising him for it saying it was already cold enough.  
  
I laughed, "Faramir, stop reprimanding him, because it worked. Now, we were going to have breakfast outside if I am not mistaken?"  
  
"Nay, Lady Éowyn will stay here until the Healer has checked her out." Answered Faramir.  
  
"Nay I shall not! You forget to whom you speak! I am the Princess of the Mark, sister to Eomer King! I shall do as I please."  
  
"What would Eomer King say if I let his sister hurt herself because she wanted to get up for breakfast? You forget you are in my charge Princess Éowyn, for I am responsible to the King for you. Would you drive your brother to grief simply to satisfy your own pride?" His words cut deep, and I was angry to see that he could read my mind. He was right and we all knew it.  
  
He may have been right, but I was still angry with him. "GET OUT!" I shouted, "GET OUT!!!!!! GET OUT!!!!!" Merry disappeared without comment, but Faramir said,  
  
"Perhaps, though it be years from now, you will understand this Lady Éowyn, though I wager you'd rather kill me now. Since you do not desire my company I shall not force it on you, nor shall I see you unless you call." With that he swept out, as he did I could see in his eyes hurt, betrayal and loneliness. But there was another emotion there what it was I do not know. All I knew was that I had just caused them.  
  
I immediately began to rebuke myself, but my pride refused to let me go after him, and the damage had already been done...  
  
Even Later......  
  
The healer came to see me at Faramir's behest. He said I should just take things easier, and I am recovering nicely. I would love to go out and talk with Merry & Faramir, but I still have not apologized to them, most particularly Faramir, so I cannot.  
  
I do not know what is keeping me from doing so; it must be my pride as Faramir predicted. I hate it when people can read me so. My brother could do so, but less than this man. It is unnerving that someone who has only known me for two days can read me better than I can. I suppose it is a tribute to his wisdom, and Elvish lineage. For it is said that Elves can read the minds of lesser beings. Or could at any rate. I do not mind the Elves doing this so much, for I know none of them well enough to mind, but a man, someone of my race, that is frightening. I do not know why, but there is a part of me that feels he would not like what he would find there were he to look. Perhaps that is why. In any case I should write a letter to my brother instead of moping around here.  
  
Later Still....  
  
Merry came in to see me for dinner. He says that I should apologize to Lord Faramir. Something I already knew. He says his lordship seems to have opened up unlike he was before, but now he has become silent again. He put it this way,  
  
"Lord Faramir, (whom Pippin speaks so highly of, and I wish Pippin were still here I am so bored. Not that your company is boring, but you aren't a hobbit, and..well..I can't steal mushrooms from you.) What was I saying? Oh yes. Lord Faramir has become as silent as a tomb since you screamed at him. (I would know, I've seen a lot of dead, and tombs too in my travels. Moria, before we fought the Balrog and the orcs was just as quiet. Well, that was all because Pippin's fault he knocked the skeleton's head down the empty well. The whole skeleton followed it down because it was attached to the chain.) Could you pass the salt please?"  
  
That was how the Halfling put it. But I am a Princess of the Rohirrim, sister to it's king, he should not be ordering me around like that. Although, (one could argue, and justifiably so,) his orders came from my brother the King, therefore I had to obey them. So, again, back to square one, me and my stupid pride. Or should I say, me, my stupid pride and my big mouth? Either way I am to blame, so why can't I apologize? I think we both know the answer to that.  
  
Later Yet.....  
  
It was late when His Lordship returned to the houses. His face was downcast and his form was bent. He had discovered something I knew not. Perhaps it was about his father. My first instinct was to go ask him about it. But how could I expect that of him when I had all but told him earlier I did not want his company?  
  
There was one thing left to do. I alone could do it. As he passed by my door I stepped out to block his path. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he did not notice me until he had nearly run into me.  
  
"Your Lordship! I crave pardon, and hope that you will hear my case." I fell to my knees it only seemed right, that even though we were of equal rank he was in the right, and I the wrong.  
  
"Lady Éowyn I have other things on my mind now. Please come later." He tried to push past me, but I was not moving.  
  
"Lord Faramir, I beg of you! Please hear my case! I am sorry for hurting you, for not controlling my headstrong temper and my tongue. I plead for your forgiveness! I may not deserve it, but still I ask all the same, for I do not wish to be alone and I desire your companionship."  
  
"Lady tis not right that you should kneel so before me for I am but a steward. But why dost thou desire my company? For you seem to have forgotten how very clear you made it this morning that you did not want it."  
  
"Rash words oft escape one's mouth when one is angry or hurt that one does not mean to speak. I never intended to cause you any hurt for you least of all people on this Middle Earth deserve it."  
  
"First Lady, I asked you to stand up, for it is not right for one of your station, or in your condition to kneel so. Second, flattery shall get you nowhere. I have seen much of it in my time, do you not recall I have grown up in the perilous court of Gondor under the dark days of Denethor?" he says coldly.  
  
"Yes, my Lord. I know that, but I too have seen flattery in Théoden son of Thengel's court. And I despise it. For those who flatter you only intend harm. Yet, I am a sheildmaiden of the Mark and have no flowery speech for Rohirrim do not use such words. We are blunt, sometimes more than is good for us. We are also a hasty folk who live in days where in order to survive one most think and act quickly. As the Lord Aragorn is wont to say, 'oft the hasty stroke goes astray' it is also with words and anger. I beseech you not to judge me by my lack of speech and good manners." I am truly begging him, and near to tears, something that I find shameful, but I think now he shall not forgive me and I shall live the rest of my days without him. A thought I despair of.  
  
"Lady, I ask you one last time, please stand." He kneels down to my level and offers me his arm. For the first time since this encounter I dare to look him in the face. He smiles weakly, and I realize it shall take time to rebuild this relationship. I warily reach out to take his arm, still not sure of himself or myself. He stands me up, "How, Lady Éowyn dost thou expect me to forgive you when you shall not stand up? I like to look at people when I speak to them."  
  
"Then you have forgiven me?"  
  
"Well, I must say it has been the first time I've had anyone nearly crying at my feet for mercy. Of course I forgive you, there-I do not wish for this to be the last memory you have of me."  
  
"Last memory?" I ask in fear.  
  
He sighs. "We do not know how much longer they shall hold out at the Black Gate, or if Mithrandir's plans shall succeed. If one or both fail Sauron shall return again to besiege this city and as my father put it, 'There shall be no dawn for men. We shall not survive this war, for victory against the Dark Lord is hopeless.' Yet, until Mithrandir despairs of life I shall not falter, nor should you."  
  
"How long since the riders left for the gate?"  
  
"Four days, nearly five. Nay, Éowyn, you shall not ride with them."  
  
"I know that now, and should have known earlier for it was folly to think I could attempt to reach them, and even more so now."  
  
"You may see battle yet, and perhaps we shall fight side by side in the last battle for Middle Earth. We should not dwell on such dark things though, I believe I mentioned last night we should look at the stars, are you still interested?"  
  
I smile, "Of course, I should love to come."  
  
"Then meet me in the gardens in ten minutes."  
  
"Why do we not go now?"  
  
"This is Minas Tirith Éowyn, the White City of Gondor, and rightfully named for it becomes frighteningly cold out at night. Even your brother and cousin thought it prudent when they visited to wear cloaks when they went about at night."  
  
I smiled again, sheepishly, "I should have known that."  
  
"You are a foreigner, it is expected." He turned and walked down the corridor, and I stared after him for awhile before I went to my own chambers to get my things.  
  
I was out there before he was. Shivering in my thin cloak. I had grabbed the nearest soldier's when I was rushing around to find some gear before we left. Now, I regretted my haste as I was freezing, Faramir was right this city was frigid when the sun went down.  
  
He was beside me before I even knew he was there. I nearly jumped out of my skin. NOTE TO SELF: Never let Faramir sneak up on you like that again. He apologized for scaring me. I said it wasn't necessary and that I just hadn't been paying attention. He laughed, "I seem to frighten a lot of people like that. Even my father."  
  
"Well, it's got to be your Elvish blood. Only Elves can do that."  
  
He laughed, "Well, here are some of my old charts I brought from the tower of Ecthelion this morning."  
  
"You visited the Tower?"  
  
"Yes. I went to learn what became of my father."  
  
"Do you mind telling me what-how he died?"  
  
His face grew dark, even though it was night I could see that. "There are things I learned today that no man should ever learn of his father, let alone repeat to others. Lady Éowyn, perhaps I shall tell you some other time, but not now. I am still trying to process the information myself. The line and House of Anorien have many terrible secrets that are enough to make one of that line ashamed."  
  
"You, my Lord are forgetting what Mithrandir said of you. 'That the blood of Numenor runs truly in his veins, but not that of his father or brother.' Do not undersell yourself, or your accomplishments."  
  
He looked me in the face, and said seriously, "And neither should you Éowyn, for though you may not know it you are far more precious to your friends and family than you would first think."  
  
"What does my Lord mean by this riddle?" I said puzzled.  
  
"His Lordship leaves you to discover the meaning of his phrase, and once you do, perhaps you shall find true healing which even now you despair of."  
  
After that we turned our attention to the stars.  
  
I must say this man is an enigma, some things, such as the locations and brightness of stars he will tell me, yet he refuses to answer his own riddles. Why I do not know, and I must find out.  
  
A/N: I think this was a fairly weird chapter, and I don't know how to fix it. 


	6. Chapter 6

Third Month, 21st day  
  
I could not sleep (again!), so I went wandering about the houses, all were asleep that I passed. I stopped briefly in Merry's room to ask the Valar to bless him. There were one or two other patients in the halls I passed through, but most have died and been buried, or have returned to duty. At least on this floor anyway. I did not venture upstairs, for I had no intention of getting lost. I came back the opposite way I left, passing by Faramir's room. His light was off, so I felt it was safe to enter his room, as he was sleeping.  
  
The fire had died, and the room was cold. He slept fitfully in his bed, tossing and turning. There was a trickle of moonlight through his window. His desk, which faces the window was partially illuminated by it. There were papers all over it. I crept over to take a look at them. Some were in neat stacks, others were tossed about as if in a fit of rage. The topmost one caught my eye.  
  
Dear Faramir, my brother;  
  
If you are reading this letter it means that I have fallen into  
shadow. Never to see our flag flap in the breeze again on Ecthelion.  
But do not grieve me. There are things to be done before this Middle  
Earth falls into ruin.  
  
As I am sure you know, our father is not to be trusted. There were  
many reasons why I did not wish to go to Rivendell. This being one. I  
do not trust him with you, my brother, I cannot protect you from his  
rage and insane temper when I am thousands of leagues away in this  
Elvish city. I pray all goes well with you. (And you know I never  
pray.) Gondor and Minas Tirith will have need of a strong and able  
ruler ere the end of this war, and since father cannot, you must.  
  
You must lead this nation of ours through the following years, for I  
cannot. Do not be afraid of the Stewardship, for you are a far more  
capable man than I am in that respect as in many. Al l you must do is  
think wisely, do not make careless and hasty decisions (but you should  
really be telling me this).  
  
Above all, do not hinder the hobbit Frodo in his quest. Though I  
fought to bring this thing to Gondor, I only did it on our father's  
wishes, for I know this thing does not belong there. In doing so, I  
have proven to be a coward, for I cannot stand up to father to do what  
is right, the way you do. I admire you Faramir, don't ever forget  
that.  
  
I shall miss you too, until you and I can be together at long last in  
some other happier place. Meanwhile, help father while you can, and  
take over for him when you must. Be the great man and Steward I know  
you can be.  
  
Boromir, Son of Denethor the Steward of Gondor  
  
Faramir had scrawled on the bottom:  
  
"Last letter from Boromir-he thinks I can do it. But can I?"  
  
I turned away, the letter tore through my heart. My tears were starting to flow in anger and rage at the man who had done this to my friend. How could a father treat his son so cruelly? I looked over at Faramir who suddenly cried out, "Father! NO! You can't!" I ran over, and shook him, he woke up slowly.  
  
"Where am I?" he asked.  
  
"These are the Houses of Healing friend. You have been dreaming again."  
  
"I cannot rid myself of them. Everywhere I go, whatever I do, or think, or say; still he haunts me."  
  
"Your father?"  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
"You have told me of him, and what I heard I did not like."  
  
"I am afraid that you would find that opinion biased."  
  
"Biased? Nay, it is not just from you that I hear such things. They are all over the city, rumors of Denethor's madness."  
  
He sat bolt upright, "What kinds of rumors?"  
  
"Many, I know not all of them. I am sure they are founded on nothing anywise."  
  
He relaxed a little, "My father's madness will be known by all soon enough, but now is not the time. But, why are you in here again? Do you normally go about on nocturnal visits throughout Meduseld?"  
  
"Nay, I simply find I cannot sleep without troubling dreams. They are not really nightmares anymore, but they are not nice dreams either."  
  
He looked at me curiously, "It is strange you should say that, for I also have troubling dreams. My main problem is they are usually premonitions. I wish I were not burdened so with them. For many a time people will not believe me." He paused and looked at me again, "As always, I am everyone's second choice. First it was Boromir..and now the Lord Aragorn. It seems I shall always be destined to hold second-place, no better."  
  
"Faramir, you are wrong-"  
  
"Pray tell me Lady, how I could be wrong. For if you had your choice would it not be Lord Aragorn son of Arathorn of the Dunedain of the North whom you would wish were here by your side then me, Faramir second son of the late, mad Lord Denethor?"  
  
I opened my mouth to deny it, but in truth could I?  
  
He turned away, he could read me, and needed no answer. "Nevermind Lady, I can understand why you like him better. He is the greatest man now alive, no matter what my father said. It is-was only natural for you to want to love him. He came riding up to Meduseld, so different from any man you'd ever known. He freed your uncle, your brother, and he looked like he might free you. Free you from the dark and useless life you seemed to be leading. To bring you to glory and renown, and then to make you the brilliant, shining, beautiful Queen of Gondor. That is what you wanted? Is it not?"  
  
He looks at me again. "Alas, lady, your wishes have come to naught. He has not freed you. For it does not lie within his power to do so. Nor shall you be his Queen. For he loves a fair-elven princess, the daughter of Lord Elrond. One Arwen Undomiel. She will be his Queen if ever we live to see such things. Now you had best go, for I am in a foul mood. I shall not be good company. Besides, why-oh nevermind. Please just go, you shall only make me more miserable if you stay. Perhaps I shall be better company in the morning."  
  
I got up to leave, I was not angry with him like the last time. For how could I be?  
  
"Faramir?" he turns to look at me again, "You shall not always be second. I know this, for the Valar would not have ordained such a fine man as you for such a lowly position. He has something special in store for you. In order to get it, you must not be jealous though, and you must learn to let others find their own paths."  
  
He reached out his hand, to lay it on my shoulder, and suddenly I was embarrassed, and my face began to turn red. Maybe it was because no man had ever touched me in my nightgown. (Now, let me explain, it was just his hand on my shoulder nowhere else for you sickies out there.) It was my own fault I was in my nightgown though. He spoke, "We both need more than physical healing. We both have emotional wounds. Deep and painful. I do not know how we shall find healing, but Éowyn, remember me when you find yours. Even if I have passed on. Will you do this?"  
  
"I will never forget you Faramir. never." I say softly. We stared at each other for the longest time, and I started to cry silently again, but I was not ashamed this time. He reached out his hand t brush them away, "Do not cry, it makes you look too much like my mother."  
  
"But I thought you said that your mother had dark hair?"  
  
"She did. But you are as beautiful as she, and you need not be as sad as her too."  
  
I smile, "Do not forget me either Faramir."  
  
He laughed softly, "I could live as long as Lady Galadriel herself and never forget you." He dropped his hand slowly, suddenly I was turning red all over again, and I felt I had to get out.  
  
"Excuse me, I think I should go now." I say hurriedly turning around.  
  
"Did I offend you?" he asks alarmed.  
  
"Nay, I am just tired, I should not have stayed up so late." I dash out of his room, and down the hall to mine. I run over to my garden door, and throw it open stepping outside. I needed to get out of there, and even though I have no idea as to why at this moment. I wanted to kiss him back there. Am I not in love with Aragorn? Then why am I longing to kiss my friend? There is something about this man that has bewitched me..  
  
Third month, 22nd day,  
  
I spent yesterday trying to regain my composure from earlier that morning. I did spend some time with Faramir and Merry, but most of it was in my rooms. I did not wander last night, for fear of a reoccurrence. My emotions seemed to have calmed down. Today is the fifth day since I have met him.  
  
Later...  
  
Is that not scary, now I count the days since I have met this man. He and I had breakfast together since poor Merry's arm was hurting him badly. We discussed a wide range of things. At the end he invited me to view the city and the surrounding plains from the walls today. I am excited this will be the first time I have gotten out of these houses.  
  
Even Later...  
  
We were out on the walls, and it was absolutely freezing. Faramir did a strange thing.  
  
He gave me his mother's cape. It is beautiful, midnight blue with bright silver stars all over it. It was very warm compared to my thin soldier's cloak. I was grateful for it, but embarrassed as I had nothing to give him in return. He did not seem to be fazed by that.  
  
We then looked East towards the Black Gate, and I spoke of the riders that were fighting there, as did he.  
  
Then he spoke in riddle again by saying, "But think not ill of me, if I say to you: they have brought me both a joy and pain that I never thought to know. Joy to see you; but pain, because now fear and doubt of this evil time are grown dark indeed. Éowyn, I would not have this world end now, or lose so soon what I have found."  
  
At this I was puzzled at this and replied, "Lose what you have found lord? I know not what in these days you have found that you could lose. But come, my friend, let us not speak of it!" I said some more, but it is not worth repeating here.  
  
Then he told me he did not think that any darkness should endure. I was surprised by this, but even more surprised when he kissed my forehead. I felt this tingling sensation sweep through me when he did, but then he moved back. I was still breathing quickly afterwards, and this was not even a real kiss! Oh Valar! What a mess I am! Do I love Faramir or Aragorn? If I love Aragorn why do I dream of Faramir? Why does his kissing my forehead (of all places), make me want more? Aragorn kissed my hand and nothing like this happened to me. I was still recovering when an Eagle flew by telling us that the Kings of the West were victorious and had passed through the Black Gate!  
  
That is when joy erupted throughout the city and people were singing in the streets. Faramir turned to me, "So, Lady that which we have hoped so desperately for has finally come to pass. What say you to this?"  
  
"My heart is joyed in this great victory for Sauron can never hold dominion over us, but unless my brother the King and Lord Aragorn return I do not wish for such a diminished victory."  
  
His face grew serious again, "Lady, do you truly love the Lord Aragorn, or do you think you do?"  
  
I felt angry at this, though I know not why, "How should I know? My brother always said I never truly knew what I wanted even when it were right before me. How should I know whom I wish to marry?" I counter angrily.  
  
He looked down, "I am sorry if I have offended thee lady, I did not mean to. I must go down though, for there are things to do."  
  
With that he whirled and left. Left me standing as the wind blew at me, and my tears started to fall. Even in victory I am miserable. Faramir was wrong, there is no cure for whatever ailment I have...  
  
A/N: Ahhhh... Love is so very confusing.. 


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Here is where it gets darker... Sorry for lack of updates, I have been having serious problems in my life. But, writing is my form of escapism, so I try as often as possible.  
  
Third Month, 23rd day  
  
I do not love Faramir. I do not love Faramir. I do not love Faramir. I do not love Faramir. I do not love Faramir.  
  
I am in love with Lord Aragorn. I am in love with Lord Aragorn. I am in love with Lord Aragorn.  
  
There, perhaps that will help sort out my feelings. Speaking of the Lord Aragorn, he has sent tidings to the city.  
  
My dear brother, Eomer, and Pippin have survived the battle. So did Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth, Mithrandir, Elladan and Elrohir, Legolas and Gimli. Though, there are many that did not. Our losses were great. It seems though, that there were more than just two Halflings wandering this Middle Earth, far away from their native Shire. Two others, Frodo and Sam. They took a daring journey to Mordor itself to destroy for once and all the great ring of power. It is said they went through much peril and evil to do this. The Lord Aragorn himself bows to them. They shall join us as soon as the wounded have healed enough to travel, that will most likely be in about a month.  
  
My brother though, has sent no word. This is upsetting to me, perhaps he is wounded? Perhaps he is near death? Will they not let me go to him? He is my last relative in this world; they would not be so cruel!  
  
I asked Faramir if he has heard anything I have not. He heard a little more, but none of it concerned my brother. I have stayed in my room since the tidings came.  
  
Third Month, 24th day  
  
Will everyone leave me? Why must this happen? Merry has left to join his friends and Lord Aragorn on the fields of Cormallorn. More distressing, Lord Faramir is healed enough to take up his duties as Steward of the City, and he left early this morning. He has gone to the seventh and highest circle. That is but one ring above the houses, but it might as well be Edoras, for I am forbidden to leave the sixth circle in which these houses lie. He told me early this morning that he must go. I begged him not to leave me here in these desolate houses. His response was,  
  
"There are many things yet that you can do. You can be of service to the healers for those who are still sick. You know I would take you with me to the White Tower, but the Healer does not see fit yet. Nor do I think such a place is ready for so noble a woman as yourself."  
  
"PLEASE, I beg of you, let me go with you! There is nothing to do here, no matter what your lordship may think. PLEASE! Let me come with you!" I once more fell to my knees in supplication.  
  
He knelt down to lift me up again, "Never, are you to kneel before me Princess, I shall not permit it. I wish also that you could accompany me, but you are not healed yet. I shall come to visit you, but I will not come often there is much for the Steward of Gondor to do in these days before the King arrives."  
  
"I beg of you!" I wept, trying to cling to him as he made a move to leave.  
  
"It breaks my heart Lady Éowyn, to see you thus, and even more so because I can do nothing to stop it, but you must believe there is faith in the new day. You must believe that the Valar holds good things in store for you, you must believe that your life is worth living. You must believe Éowyn, you must!" He embraced me, "Be strong for your country and your brother who will need you. Be the Princess I know you are."  
  
With that he bowed quickly and left, and I was weeping at his departure, he turned towards me once more before his horse carried him off to the Tower of Ecthelion. He pointed to the sky, and I looked up to see that there was a star shining, during the day. It was Earendil, the Elvish star of hope. Then, when I looked again, he was gone.  
  
Gone. Gone. Gone. I am alone once more. How can Faramir expect me to have faith when there is none to be had?  
  
Third Month, 25th day  
  
I woke up this morning with a terrible ache in my arm, my sword-arm that is. It has gone away somewhat, but it is still numb. I have told no one. I might have told Faramir were he here, but he is not. And these healers are poor substitutes. Making you drink fouls potions, insisting you rest half the day, and they took away my sword before I came here, so there is nothing to amuse myself with.  
  
Except sewing, and that is not something I am good at. Mainly because I do not have the patience required. It is also probably the fact that I stab myself with the needle nearly every time I attempted it. As for cooking, mine is enough to make a healthy man so ill he must come to one of these houses.  
  
I used to spend my time talking to Faramir, or Merry. But both are gone now, and no one of interest remains.  
  
My ache is getting worse, I must stop.  
  
A/N: Probably some spelling errors! Sorry!  
  
Tolkien does not really go into how Eowyn felt when Faramir left, my guess is she was very depressed and I have tried to portray that. Also, you must realize it is by this point Faramir definitely knows he is in love with her, but is unsure of her feelings. Thus, he is also very depressed, despite what he may say about hope. It is a false show, to make everything look like it's alright when it's not. He would have learned this under his father's reign, because he would have had to be very good at hiding his emotions. So, this two are completely miserable for the same reason that neither will admit. Idiots. A lot like Harm and Mac I suppose.. (Sorry, that's from JAG for those of you out there who aren't JAG fans.) Anyway, hpe you liked it.. 


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Well, sorry this is late, been having technical difficulties. This chapter is probably rather boring because the entries are so short, but Eowyn has nothing to write about-there's no Faramir!  
  
Third Month, 26th day  
  
Ache is worse, and there is nothing to write of......  
  
Third Month, 27th day  
  
Had a nightmare Faramir's father tried to murder him... Faramir was not here to talk about it with. Ache is slightly better, but I have been getting terrible headaches now.  
  
Third Month, 28th day  
  
My forehead is hot; my brother says that means I have a fever. I feel awful, but there is no way I'm telling those crazy healers with their disgusting potions. The ache is returning, nothing more to write.  
  
Third Month, 31st day  
  
The last few days I spent in bed. With guess what? A fever. Today I am a little better. I hear rumors they had to call Faramir in for his skills my fever got so bad. If he did come, he certainly is not here anymore. Either way, he sent me some flowers from his garden. I did not know that Faramir kept a garden. The Warden said yes, he did and his is the best in the city. The flowers are so beautiful I dare not touch them, for it seems almost sacrilege. As for describing them, I should not attempt such a difficult task. At least he still thinks of me, that is nice to know. But the world seems no brighter to me now than it did when the eagles flew over......  
  
Fourth Month, 1st day  
  
Nothing to write.  
  
Fourth Month, 2nd day  
  
Nothing again.  
  
Fourth Month 3rd day  
  
Had another dream, it was my brother crying at some stunning ceremony. He was all dressed up, as a King of Rohan would be at some state ceremony. Yet, he was crying, and they seemed to be tears of happiness. Faramir was there too, but I did not recognize the garb he wore, I suppose it was something Gondorians dress in for such things. This is stranger yet, though, he wore a medallion that was distinctly Rohirric. I know not what this means.  
  
Fourth Month, 4th day  
  
A letter from Merry who talks of his doings, and those of his friends. He did ask after my health and that of Lord Faramir's, but that was the only thing he asked of us. As for myself, I have certainly been in better health, and Faramir? I know not how he is, though I suppose he would be back here if he had anything serious. I wrote a short courteous reply, which was effectually all fabricated truths. In other words, lies. For if my brother was to hear of it I should not want him to worry.  
  
Fourth Month, 5th day  
  
A letter from my brother begging me to come see him in Cormallorn. I sent a polite refusal. I do not know why, for have I not been waiting for such summons since he left?  
  
Fourth Month, 6th day  
  
Nothing again.....  
  
Fourth Month, 7th day  
  
This seems to be my week for letters. One has just arrived from Faramir inquiring after my health which he hopes has improved since my illness. He does not mention himself visiting, so perhaps it was just a rumor. It was rather short, but he did say that he hopes to see me soon.  
  
Fourth Month, 8th day  
  
Again, nothing, except that my arm hurts so much I can hardly write.  
  
Fourth Month, 9th day  
  
Another letter from Merry, who also begs me to join him and the others in Cormallorn. I sent a polite refusal, again.  
  
Fourth Month, 10th day  
  
I am honestly beginning to wonder why I even started to keep this journal. For it seems that for a short time I have great loads of things to say, then long periods of nothing. This seems to be a useless exercise I do not even know why I write anymore......  
  
Fourth Month, 11th day  
  
I feel absolutely horrible. My stomach refused to let me eat anything this morning lest it vomit it up again. I have yet another fever.  
  
Fourth Month, 12th day  
  
Nothing to write except the Healers are begging me to eat something, I refuse.  
  
Fourth Month, 13th day  
  
My brother again begs me to come to Cormallorn, I again, sent him a refusal.  
  
Fourth Month, 14th day  
  
Third day without food, I am faint with hunger and light-headed as if I am floating.  
  
Fourth Month, 15th day  
  
I stayed abed all this morning, I have very little energy left. Still I can not eat.  
  
Fourth Month, 16th day  
  
It has occurred to me that this is perhaps the end. Maybe this is how I shall die, starved to death amidst plenty after a great war. It makes no sense, but since when does life make sense? I asked the Warden to have Faramir come to me as quickly as he can, for I wish to see him ere the end. I asked the Healer though, not to tell Faramir that I had asked for him. Why I do not know.....  
  
A/N: Now why did she ask him? 


	9. Chapter 9

Fourth Month, 17th day  
  
The Healer came this morning to beg me to eat. But, I kept badgering him about my message that he finally told me. Faramir is coming tomorrow! JOY! ECSTATIC JOY!!! Faramir was upset that no one had told him sooner my health was worsening, in fact he nearly strangled the Healer who brought the message. He cannot come tonight as it is too late, but he has canceled everything on his schedule tomorrow to come see me. I was so happy the Warden convinced me to eat something, even though it tasted horrible.  
  
Fourth Month, 18th day  
  
I am up very early, the sun has barely risen. It is the first time I have been out of bed in days. Is it not strange though, that Faramir should come to visit me on the very day I first met him? For it was a month ago today that I begged him to ride east. I realize now that this last month was the Valar's trial for me. He was testing me, to see my mettle. It has proved to me what I always suspected since I met him. I love Faramir. Not just as a friend, but as one would love a husband. There is no way around it. If I truly loved the Lord Aragorn, the way I thought I did, would I be dreaming of Faramir? Would I be blushing at his touch? Would I be fighting this so hard? Would I be starving myself for missing him? Would I be up at just after sunrise to ready myself for him? Alright, that was really sappy. I hate sappy stuff. I cannot seem to get around it though, I love him, period. End of discussion, I had simply been infatuated with Aragorn, nothing more, I know that now. I can only hope that Faramir shares my feelings......  
  
Later.......  
  
Faramir arrived just before breakfast. I was just about to sit down to it in fact, when I heard his hurried footsteps and angry voice. "Why did you healers not tell me before it got so bad? Do you not know that I am responsible for her to her brother? What were you thinking?!" At that, he threw open my door, and stood in shock seeing me there in the middle of the floor. He was dressed in mostly black, but he had the white tree embroidered in silver upon his breast. There was other intricate silver embroidery throughout his suit, and most notably, the ring of stewardship on his hand. He seemed much calmer than the angry menace he was in the hall, but the others quickly fled from what seemed to be their Steward's impending wrath. "Éowyn?" I rushed over to him as quickly as I could on my still weak legs. "Faramir!" I exclaim as I embrace him. "They said you were unwell." He said, his arms still about my waist. "I was until I heard you were coming." "They said you might die." "I would have if you had not come, I cannot stay alone here." "Come let us sit down, and discuss what has happened over breakfast." So we did, then I recommended we go out onto the walls again. He was originally against this saying I would be too cold. "Nay, my lord, I shall not be cold." I said reaching into my small closet and drawing out the cape he gave me. He smiled, "Let me help you with that, for it is rather bulky and hard to manage." I did so, and he helped me put on his mother's cloak, and I shivered a little beneath his touch. He still made me tingle. Oh well.....I'm not going there, yet. We went out, this time to the wall facing Dol Amroth and the sea. If you looked far enough he said you might find the sea. Then, he asked me why I did not go when Eomer asked me twice to go see him on Cormallorn, and even Merry asked me to. I answered, "Do you not know?" "Two reasons there may be, but which is true, I do not know." He replied. "I do not wish to play at riddles, speak plainer!" "Then if you would have it so, lady, you do not go because only your brother called you, and to look on Lord Aragorn, Elendil's heir, in his triumph would now bring you no joy. Or because I do not go, and you desire still to be near me. And maybe for both these reasons, and you yourself cannot choose between them. Éowyn, do you not love me, or will you not?" He was asking me to answer the very question I dreaded to do. I did not wish to lay my heart on the line, if he would only trample it, so I feigned. "I wished to be loved by another. But I desire no man's pity." It was not a total lie; at one point I did wish for Aragorn to love me. No longer did I wish it though. "That I know. You desired to have the love of the Lord Aragorn. Because he was high and puissant, and you wished to have renown and glory and to be lifted far above the mean things that crawl this earth. And as a great captain may be to a young soldier he seemed to you admirable. For so he is, a lord among men, the greatest that now is. But when he gave you only his understanding pity, then you desired nothing, unless a brave death in battle. Look at me Éowyn!" So I did, he had read me to the very last letter. Nothing had I hide from those deep, piercing elvish gray eyes. I loved him, yet he did not seem to love me. "Do not scorn the pity that is the gift of a gentle heart, Éowyn!" he continued. "But I do not offer you my pity. For you are a lady high and valiant and have yourself won renown that will not be forgotten; and you are a lady beautiful I deem, beyond even the words of the Elven-tongue to tell. And I love you. Once I pitied your sorrow. But now, were you sorrowless, without fear or any lack, were you the blissful Queen of Gondor, still I would love you. Éowyn, do you not love me?" He had just done what I feared not do. He had told me he loved me!!! HE LOVED ME! I was so happy I could have jumped for joy. I told him so. Then he said if it were my will he should marry me, and we would live in Ithilien. Then I decided to tease him, "Then must I leave my own people, man of Gondor? And would you have your proud folk say of you: 'There goes a lord who tamed a wild sheildmaiden of the north.' Was there no woman of the race of Numenor to choose?" "I would." He said simply, and he kissed me on the walls of the city for all to see. I finally drew back for lack of air. I was smiling, "I love you Faramir, and you had me worried for a minute there that you did not want me." He drew me closer. "Not want you? On the contrary, how could I not? Lord Aragorn does not know what he is missing." "Why did you kiss me up here for all to see?" "Because," he said, "I do not care. I love you Éowyn, and the city might as well find out sooner rather than later." He kissed me again, reluctantly he drew back, "Come, we must go down, lest your brother Eomer and the king return to find me kissing you on the walls of the city." We grabbed hands as I said, "I can just imagine my brother about ready to kill you for doing this. He would turn very red and-" "Well, he has not caught us yet." Said Faramir before he kissed me lightly again. "No, not yet." I respond happily. Then we descended and he told the healer that I was healed, and veritably I was. The Healer then freed me and commended me to Faramir's guidance. (A/N: Changed this-I know) I accepted, and with a maid's help was able to pack up my things in less than an hour and then Faramir and I departed for the Tower of Ecthelion. Now, I abide here whilst we wait for the Kings' return which is to be any day now.  
  
Even Later.........  
  
Faramir did a strange thing, but then he is constantly surprising me with the things he does. He said he had to attend to some things, so he gave me a ring full of keys and told me to choose any room I liked in the Tower for my own. He said he hoped that I would not be offended if I did not see him until supper, for he was busy. I was disappointed, but I had no choice. So I wandered around for hours looking amongst the various rooms for one I should like. I finally found one that faced the sea, something that even though I have never seen I find I have a growing fascination with. It was a medium-sized room. Decorated with silver swans, trees and overall a bluish tint. Everything was decorated with this color scheme. I loved the room, of course though, it will need alterations for a Rohirric princess. And some gold and green, a few horses to balance out the swans, then I would feel at home. This room had been lived in, I could tell, but not for a very long time. I spoke to Faramir about it over our meal, and he seemed slightly startled when I mentioned it, and he wished me to show it to him. I went upstairs with him and opened it up after some fumbling with the keys. He looked about him in amazement, almost reverence. "I thought this room had been destroyed." "Why?" "It was my mother's." "Your mother's? Shall I choose a different room?" He began to shuffle through the drawers as if looking for something, and spoke as if he hadn't heard me. "I thought this room was destroyed after she died, but I suppose my father just locked it up and forbade anyone to go in. She said that she had left some things for us in one of her drawers....." "I hate to interrupt Faramir, but would you rather I stayed in a different room?" He stopped shuffling long enough to look up at me in utter surprise. "Whatever makes you think I wouldn't let you stay here? I said any room and I meant it. Do you still want to stay here?" "I-I don't really know. I think I would rather choose a different room. I think this room should be left in peace." "If that is what you wish, my lady, then it shall be done. I was just hoping to find what she had left my brother and me before we leave." He continued to search, but I stood in the middle of the floor. Unwilling to even sit down, as if doing so would disturb his mother's ghost. Crazy thoughts began to run through my head. What if she didn't approve of her son wanting to marry me? Wouldn't she have wanted someone from Gondor or Dol Amroth for him? What would she do that I had found her room after it had been locked up for so many years? It should have been one of her sons who unlocked it. Not some foreign and barbaric Princess. For that is what many thought of my nation in Gondor. I could tell from the strange looks they gave me. "Aha!" cried Faramir, "I've found it." He removed the drawer from its slot and laid it out on the bed. It had been divided into halves one for each son. Assorted trinkets filled it. Faramir reached for something on his side, a small package wrapped in thin blue cloth. He unwrapped it, and a note fluttered out. He bent to pick it off the ground, and read it. He then looked at me, and gave me the cloth with two rings that I marveled to see. "These are for my future wife." He said, "But, look at them Éowyn (For I had been in too much shock to do anything but stare at him), it is as if my mother knew I was going to marry you." He picked them up. "See, there are horses on both of these." I took the mithril one from him, and indeed there were tiny horses engraved onto it, the other ring was identical, only it was made of gold. He then placed the gold ring on my finger, "With this ring I make you my betrothed." He then kissed me softly. "This other ring is for our wedding day." He said taking it back from me. "Why do I wear the gold one now and not the other?" I asked puzzled, wondering if there was reasoning behind it. "Very simple, Éowyn, the gold one represents Rohan, which you belong to fully until our wedding day. The mithril one represents Gondor. When I give you this later, it means our two countries must share you. For you will still be a Princess in Rohan, but also Stewardess of Gondor, and Princess of Ithilien." "How did your mother know?" "Your guess is as good as mine." "I suppose then, that you must wear a ring too." He looked at me curiously, "It is the custom for men in Gondor only to wear wedding rings, not betrothal ones." "You are marrying into the Royal House of Rohan, which will make you a prince there; therefore you must obey our customs." "Then the men in your country wear both?" I nodded. "When my brother returns I shall have him get some made up for you." He walked over to me with a funny expression on his face. "That is strange for I have not seen any men wearing two such rings." "Well, my brother is neither married, nor engaged, you shall not find him wearing any. But, had you met my uncle, you would have seen the truth." "Your uncle rests amongst Gondor's dead kings at the moment, but it is not right to disturb the dead. I shall take your word for it at present." "My Lord Faramir, do you not trust me?" I ask in feigned anger. He laughs, "My Lady Éowyn, those who would trust you in such matters are fools." I was about to hit him for that, when he took me by surprise and kissed me. Needless to say, I forgot all about hitting him. Is it not strange that this man knows me better than I know myself? Even though he has known me but a month, and I have known myself over twenty years? 


	10. Chapter 10

Fourth Month, 19th day  
  
Received yet another letter from my brother today, it was short, crisp and messy rather like him I suppose,  
  
Dear Sister-Éowyn,  
  
I am doing well here with everyone, and they  
send you their wishes as usual. I shall not  
hide from you what puzzles me that you do  
not come to these fields when I have twice asked you, and has Merry the hobbit. Why do you stay in the city you so shortly ago protested to hate? Your letters do not sound like you and I am worried, please answer quickly.  
  
Eomer, (yes, I am the blasted King Even though I don't want to be)  
  
I showed it to Faramir to see what he thought of it, and what I should do. He said, "I too am surprised Éowyn that you have written your brother these strange letters, for have you not told me time and again how dear he is to you? Why do you neglect him so? What is more, why do you show me this letter?" "I do hold him dear, he is the dearest of my blood that now lives. Yet, if a wise man such as yourself cannot guess why I have showed you the letter than I shall certainly not reveal it to him." "Do I guess rightly in saying that my lady likes riddles and guessing games perhaps more than even I?" "That, Steward, does not need to be dignified with an answer." "Why does my lady act so?" "Your lady has discovered the meaning of something she long sought, yet the man who told her of it seems to have forgotten it himself." "Perhaps I have, though usually I do not have such a lax memory, please enlighten me." ""And neither should you Éowyn, for though you may not know it you are far more precious to your friends and family than you would first think." That is the riddle my lord." "You thought I forgot that?" "If you have not forgotten it, then you certainly have not applied it. Think harder Faramir." He looked down at the letter and then back up at me, "You want me to write a response, and to tell him why." "I suppose you wish to know why? Because he would not believe it if it were to come from me. I can write an accompanying letter, but you should write this one." "I have not even spoken to the King of this yet Éowyn." "Then do so, for if you do not someone else surely shall." "Very well. I shall write it now since nothing else is pressing. That will mean that you must behave yourself and not bother me though, or I shall never get it done." "I understand, I think I shall go write mine now too." Then we parted and I wrote my letter to my brother in very little time, but I did not go to see how Faramir was coming along because his would surely take longer. He had to ask the King of Rohan for permission to marry the very woman he'd been told to watch over and that alone would raise suspicions. Especially from my protective brother. I did not doubt Faramir's eloquence though, he could talk a flower into blooming in the middle of winter if he so chose. Besides, my brother trusts him, and even if he did not Faramir's reputation would have been enough. My brother will consent. Is it not strange how just three days past I despaired of a happy life, let alone life at all? Now my life seems almost too good to be true. For the moment I actually seem to be content.  
  
Fourth Month, 30th day  
  
I did not write earlier as there was not much to write. I am sorry dear journal for my unfaithfulness. I am very excited, my brother (who long ago gave consent to my marriage), is returning tomorrow with the hobbits and the King of Gondor. Well, everyone is returning from the fields of Cormallorn it seems. It is dark now as night is falling, but Faramir and I can see the tents that have been pitched outside. My stomach is doing flip-flops I have not seen my brother since the end of March over a month ago and I am dying to see him. I suppose part of me is still a little frightened that he might revoke his earlier decision concerning Faramir & I. I wanted to ride out to meet them, but Faramir said it was better this way and that we should meet them with great ceremony early on the morrow. So we stood on the walls while the ferocious wind ripped around the city, he held me close to him so I did not catch cold for I am still "frail" as the healer put it. I do not think so, but if it is an excuse to spend time with my betrothed I do not care so much. I try to imagine my brother looking out from his tent and seeing the very same stars the Faramir has been teaching me about. It was one of the few thoughts that kept me going in the houses when Faramir had left. The thought that my brother, Faramir, and I would look out onto the same stars every night regardless of where life threw us was rather comforting though I know not why.  
  
Fifth month 1st day  
  
The ceremony of Aragorn's crowning was magnificent. Although unprecedented. Faramir followed the old rituals as well as he could, but it was Aragorn himself who broke them when he gave the crown back to Faramir and had Frodo take it from him to give o Mithrandir to crown Aragorn. Tradition apparently states that only the King of Gondor can crown himself. Aragorn has broken this. Oh well, it was just surprising more than anything else. The festivities that took place afterwards are still continuing and they will do so for a week. It is said that the reason why Legolas was not at the coronation- though he sent his deep regret at not being able to do so-is that he has gone to Lothlorien the Golden Wood to meet up with Queen Galadriel and her husband King Celeborn as they escort Lord Elrond and his daughter Lady Arwen. She is Aragorn's betrothed. How do I feel about seeing my one-time rival? I honestly don't know. I've never seen an Elven maiden or lady before. I hear they are cold beauties and I am nervous. They are said to have much power-and I have never met a woman more powerful than myself. I am afraid it will be a somewhat humiliating experience. Onto a lighter topic I have finally seen my brother after all this time and he was overjoyed to see me!! (Even Faramir which I was not expecting he is usually so very protective.) It seems that everyone is here in Minas Tirith with the exception of the Elves. Even Prince Imrahil from Dol Amroth who found Faramir (his nephew) stricken on the field and me as well is here with his family. I noticed my brother seems to fancy Lothíriel Imrahil's only daughter. This will be interesting to tease him about.... On second thought-maybe not. That sounds like them fighting in the next room... I should go break it up. 


	11. Chapter 11

Fifth Month, 2nd day  
  
We were all partying late last night, (so late that virtually nobody is up now). Faramir sat to Aragorn's right as the Steward of Gondor always does, and I sat to Faramir's right with my brother on my other side. Mithrandir was on Aragorn's left followed by Gimli and assorted hobbits and Prince Imrahil and his family. I noticed my brother studiously avoided Lothíriel's gaze. She did the same, they were still angry with each other over the argument they'd been having earlier. It took a great deal to prevent me from laughing over this. Then, a rather tipsy King Aragorn decided to poke fun at his guests. My brother (in a near drunken state himself) eagerly joined in. Aragorn's first victim was Lothíriel (or Lothy as Faramir calls her) because she was so very quiet-he asked her if she was scared. Apparently it never occurred to him she and I were the only women there. She then snapped she was not scared in the slightest, only thinking. He then laughed and asked what she was contemplating on.  
  
"I don't know what you find so funny Aragorn. I may not be a beautiful elf- maiden or a brave princess who killed a witch king, but that does not mean I am stupid or a push-over." She said with a hint of anger in her voice. Fortunately her father was somewhere else with Mithrandir at the moment. Some of the men laughed, but neither Faramir nor Eomer did. I was curious as to that, for I thought Eomer would've laughed at her. I did not have much time to contemplate this though, because my brother got up for more wine just as Aragorn started to focus on his Steward.  
  
"You know Faramir," he said with a laugh, "I never understood why you did not choose someone from Numenor for your future wife. I mean, sure Éowyn's beautiful, but she's not-"  
  
At that Faramir started to say something, but I slammed my fist on the table rattling everything with my blow. "I AM NOT WEAK!" I screamed. Everyone turned in my direction in surprise. I stood up and Faramir did too.  
  
"My King," Faramir said with a hint of resentment, "I suggest you go sleep off this wine before something else happens. I understand you are under a lot of stress, but that is no excuse to lash out at your friends."  
  
He then firmly gripped my arm and escorted me out, my brother and Lothy followed quickly. I soon realized we were heading to the library.  
  
"I apologize for his behavior." Said Faramir once the door had shut behind us. He sighed, "He's under a lot of stress. Rumors abound that his princess has chosen to go West instead of staying here for him. His friend Legolas and Princess Arwen's brothers have chosen to go to Lothlorien to investigate this. He also never wanted to be King of Gondor, just like I never wanted to be Steward."  
  
"And I never wanted to be King of Rohan." Said my brother sobering up.  
  
"That doesn't give him reason to lash out at his friends who have done nothing but support him." Said Lothy who was very hurt.  
  
"No, it does not, but we have to cut him some slack." Said Faramir. "I know how he feels."  
  
"But you never lashed out at me or Merry." I complain.  
  
"Being King is not the same as Steward, and he has depended on Arwen for a long time. For her to give him up would be a great blow. Even if I thought you did not love me Éowyn, at least I knew you would be there for me. He does not even have that assurance."  
  
My brother nodded, "He will have some slack... THIS time." He finished marching out of the room in a huff.  
  
Lothíriel was still there, "You may be able to forgive him cousin, but it will take me awhile to do so. He had no right to say what he did. Aragorn obviously has something against women, strong women anyway. Or maybe, he just hates the race of men in general and only like elves." She said bitterly.  
  
"We should not-" Faramir began.  
  
"I have long wondered at such things myself in my travels with him. I am sorry Faramir, but I think she is right." I reply.  
  
"Perhaps that is the case, but I cannot choose sides, I am the Steward of Gondor. I am duty bound to defend him and his actions." He said sadly.  
  
"We are not blaming you, only him for not showing more self-restraint." I respond.  
  
After that we all separated. I did not dare stay with Faramir alone, because Gondorians are so suspicious about betrothed couples doing things they're not supposed to. In my country we do not care so much.  
  
Now that I think back on the actions of everyone last night I begin to wonder if everything is a right in the world as people would like to think. Will Aragorn be a good King? Will we be able to forgive him? Does my brother hate or love Lothíriel? Will Arwen stay for Aragorn? Will I get along with her?  
  
I look at these questions and I do not have a good answer for any of them....  
  
Fifth month 3rd day  
  
I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and I saw my face is too thin, my hair (obviously) isn't brown, my eyes are a little too large, and in general I am far too thin. I don't know why Faramir even likes me, because I'm certainly nothing to look at. Its no wonder that Aragorn rejected me. In comparison to Arwen I must be a ugly, dirty un-educated peasant. Even in comparison to Aragorn I feel inadequate because he knows so much more than me. I cannot even begin to compete with my future husband's intellect, he's just too smart for anyone to beat, even Aragorn. But, Arwen had the libraries of Rivendell at her disposal for thousands of years, surely she is more learned than any of us. The only thing I can hope to best her with is the sword. She could probably beat me hands down with the bow.  
  
Just thinking these things makes want to go crawl under a rock and hide, never to return. I feel so unclassed beside the great of Middle Earth. Why does anyone put up with me? Eomer is pounding on the door telling me its time for breakfast. Must go......  
  
A/N: Well, hope you liked it! 


	12. Chapter 12

Later.......  
  
Legolas has sent word. Arwen is coming to Rivendell. She is coming to Minas Tirith to marry Aragorn. They will be here soon. Aragorn-genius that he is- has decided that my brother & I can now go back to Rohan to re-organize it. Then after a few months we shall return to escort everyone up to Edoras for Théoden's funeral.  
  
What Aragorn doesn't realize is that: We did NOT invite him to Théoden's funeral. (This is usually only extended to Rohirrim) I don't like not seeing Arwen before I leave for Edoras. For all I know she could bring along some handmaidens and Faramir might decide he likes them better than me. I don't like being separated from the hobbits (especially Merry) I don't want to prepare for Théoden's funeral, because it will only make me really depressed; and anyone with half a brain knows that's a dangerous thing to do particularly when Faramir's not around to support me... which leads to my next reason: I refuse to be separated from Faramir for so long. That is simply cruel and unusual punishment. Lastly, we Rohirrim do NOT take orders from the King of Gondor! (Except in dire circumstances!)  
  
Nevertheless, we will be departing from Minas Tirith for Edoras just after dawn tomorrow. Life is so unfair!  
  
Fifth month 4th day  
  
I'm up really early because I'm hoping to find Faramir before we leave, we didn't have any time alone last night at the farewell party. Although, I must admit I found my brother's behavior rather entertaining. (Granted: he was a little drunk.) It was so funny though, watching him do his little jig and after that he spent the whole rest of the evening tormenting Faramir's poor cousin Lothy. I mean it is rather ob-  
  
Later......  
  
Sorry I was interrupted by a rather nosy fiancé of mine, he sneaked right up behind me and before I even knew he was there he deftly lifted my diary right off the table. "What's this?" he asked.  
  
"It's nothing." I reply blushing furiously. "Just a letter."  
  
"To whom is it written?" he replied amused with my embarrassment.  
  
"None of your business." I answer making a sudden grab for my journal, but he moved too quickly, and I missed. "FARAMIR!" I shout aggravated.  
  
He turns his back to me, preventing another rescue attempt, "What is in here that you don't want me to see?" I hear him leafing through the pages, "This is a rather long letter Éowyn."  
  
I sigh, "Alright, it's not really a letter. I write about my life in it...I'm not sure you would even want to read some of it." I say looking down at the floor ashamed of what he might be reading.  
  
He turns around, closes the book and puts his arm around me. "If you don't want me to read it, that's alright." He pauses, "I know how you felt when you started this. I don't have to read any of it to know." He laughs softly looking down, "Because I've done the same thing. Only I started my journal when I was much younger, probably eight or ten. A journal is like having a friend who is always there for you no matter how stupid you've been." He smiles back at me, "Take this back. I have no right to read it."  
  
I receive my diary with trembling hands and tears that threaten to fall, this man is unbelievable. Then I stare at it for a little as he starts to walk out. "Faramir!" I call after him. He stops and turns around.  
  
"Keep this, if you are to be my husband you must know everything about me, the good and the bad." I offer my journal to him again.  
  
He's staring at me looking as if he (might?) cry too. Then he looks at the diary and shakes his head. "No," he said slowly, "Bring this back to Edoras. Write everything you feel in it. I mean everything, whatever you would have told me, put in here. You will need it in the coming months. When we return for the funeral then we will speak again." He presses the book into my hands. "In the meantime," he says with a mischievous smile, "Keep this in remembrance of me." Before I know what Faramir's doing he's kissing me soundly. The book falling to the floor unnoticed.  
  
Finally we pull apart breathless, "Don't forget me." I plead.  
  
He shakes his head with a smile, "I could live as long as the Lady Galadriel herself and never forget you...Take care of yourself." With that he drops my arms and walks out. It is only after his footsteps have fully disappeared that I realize I've dropped my journal.  
  
I'm telling you, that man reduces me to a bumbling idiot.....  
  
A/N: Sorry, so short, been rather busy of late.  
  
angstfulangel: Thank you for reviewing!!  
  
Raksha The Demon: 21st century expressions are my nemesis in stories like this because I'm trying to make Eowyn sound human or casual, but Tolkien has very few expressions like that in M.E.-so I end up using ours. As for comparing herself to a peasant-my sister would definitely agree with you, and I honestly had a difficult time putting it in, but his lineage is as they both know ever so much higher and older than hers even if he does not bear a princely title at the time. Anyway, one of those things I'll probably regret putting in later, but I'm too lazy to re-post. Thank you for taking the time to review!!! 


	13. Chapter 13

_Fifth month, 5th day_

Well, we had an official send-off ceremony, however, since it involved the whole city we had no privacy and I found it more heartbreaking and useless than anything else.

The Gondorians lined the walls, and only a few important ones like Faramir and Aragorn actually stood outside the gate. My brother and I with the rest of the Rohirrim were outside of the walls, mounted on horses as Aragorn gave us his blessing for a safe trip. My brother was rather indignant at having Aragorn bless us, I think he would have preferred Mithrandir or Faramir. However, Aragorn is the king now, so those options were not open.

I unashamedly stared at Faramir the entire ceremony. He had to watch either my brother or Aragorn most of the time, but he would smile at me every now and then. I watched his every move closely. His refined nature allowed him to actually sit still for most of the time (except when he was required to move), however my fidgetiness forbade me from sitting still more than five seconds. I admired his respect for authority, not minding that is was Aragorn whom he had to respect. He was the epitome of what mankind tries to be while he sat there. His reddish-gold nearly brown hair waved in the breeze like a banner. His gray eyes keenly watching every movement of importance. His handsome face expressionless, unless he looked in my direction. He wore his ranger garb, which included a leather breastplate emblazoned with a silver white tree. His green cape flew out behind him, and his long, deadly sword strapped to his side, while his hand rested cautiously on its pommel. The horse he sat upon very patiently mimicked its rider.

I was puzzled by his choice of clothes amidst all of this finery. Beside the king he looked like a humble soldier, but then I realized his meaning. His job as Steward and Captain of the Citadel was to remain in a state of perpetual readiness. He also wanted to make a statement that he didn't need jewels, silks, satins or crowns for: he had the respect of the people that mattered most-the people themselves. Perhaps he was finally realizing his own self-worth.

I really wasn't paying much attention to the ceremony at all, until all of the sudden Merry and Pippin broke through the ranks and dashed forward on their small ponies.

"Nobody ever told me that they were leaving!" shouted Merry angrily as he reached my brother and I. "I am a soldier of Rohan and must follow my liege lord and lady!"

"And I-I must follow Merry 'cause he knows where the pipeweed is." Pippin answers sidling up alongside us.

Everyone started laughing, then Aragorn spoke, "Pippin you are a soldier of Gondor and must obey our laws now. I am your liege lord, not Eomer."

Pippin looks confused. "I swore my allegiance to the Lord Denethor and his heirs not to you." He answers stupidly, turning to look at Faramir.

"Pippin!" Merry hissed, "Strider's king now, he takes precedence over Faramir, your oath is switched to him."

"What's a precedence? Does it mean we'll be separated again?" Pippin asks leaning towards Merry.

"I'm afraid so Pip." Merry says tearing up, the two hobbits hug in front of everyone and Eomer struggles to contain himself. The hobbits separate and Pippin apologizes to Aragorn and nudges his pony towards the Gondorian side, but instead of going towards Aragorn's left like he and everyone else was expecting, he goes to Faramir's left, and stays there. Faramir looks to Aragorn who shrugs it off, but I know both men better. Aragorn felt slighted, and Faramir was to polite to do anything in front of everyone; this would not bode well for my fiancé while we were gone.

My brother who usually lacks any and all tact, realized the problem and declared that, "Rohan could not deprive a great knight of his friends' company after such service as had been rendered on the part of Meriadoc Brandybuck. He may stay with his hobbit friends if he wishes."

Merry gratefully accepted the offer, and he and Pippin disappeared into the crowds. Aragorn abruptly ended the ceremony, and coldly called Faramir and the rest inside after him. They followed, but Faramir went last and winked at me before the gates closed behind him, separating us from each other.

It took all my restraint not to get off my horse and go pound on those gates to be opened. Instead I glanced at my brother with a sigh, he did the same and we turned and galloped off into the morning's new light. We never looked back.

                                            The End

A/N: Really sorry this took so long to get updated, but my computer has been down for the last few months with virus/security problems. I couldn't have gotten it up much sooner. I would also like to thank all those who reviewed, and I'm sorry but there won't be any reactions for this chapter.

Good News! There will be a sequel to this. I can't decide wether to continue it with her POV, or do Faramir's-hence I shall ask you to vote on it!


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